EDGE New York City

So, it’s a New Year, and once again, you have resolved that you will finally quit smoking. By now, you’re either two weeks in and sweating like Whitney Houston going through Customs, or you’ve given up and are puffing away like a smokestack.

Don’t blame yourself. Without the right help, and without addressing the reasons you started smoking in the first place, quitting is near impossible. But with the help of programs like the Center’s SmokeFree Project, you could kick that butt forever!

"Whether you choose the patch, gum, Wellbutrin, Chantix or acupuncture, I would never say don’t try it," said Adam Steiner, the SmokeFree Project Counselor at the LGBT Center, on West 13th Street in Greenwich Village. "I feel strongly about people quitting, but what really matters is being able to stay quit a day at a time for the rest of their lives. But if they don’t come to terms with what’s making them smoke in the first place, it won’t work."

Steiner, who is in his late ’40s and has quit for nine years, said he began smoking when he was eight years old, and never imagined he would quit. "I started smoking when I was very young. I was not sure about what a fag was or sissy was, but I was sure called one. I was afraid of the tough kids my age, so I went and hung out with the 11-year-olds, and started smoking to be tough, to be a part of the cool group. I hear that a lot in my groups -- about people starting to smoke because of their struggle with their identity."

Confronting some statistics can help, said Steiner. Although it may appear sometimes when you’re walking in Midtown that everyone smokes, only 15 percent of the population still puffs the noxious weed. Unfortunately, the gay community comprises a big part of that percentage.

Steiner quoted statistics from the American Lung Association that indicated that almost twice as many lesbians smoke as straight women; that gay, bisexual and transmen are 2-2.5 times more likely to smoke than straight men; and that 70 percent of New Yorkers with HIV are addicted to cigarettes.

Breaking Free of Big Tobacco
He remembers back to a time when gay publications were filled with tobacco ads featuring hot men, when all our community’s socialization centered around lesbian and gay bars.

"For years and years, we were targeted by Big Tobacco," said Steiner. "Smoking was allowed in bars back them, and gay bars were the only place we could be ourselves for such a long time. Things have changed over the years, but I still see a lot of gay youth smoking. It all goes back to identity."

We all know that smoking isn’t healthy, and that it is becoming less socially acceptable all the time. In New York, the cost of cigarettes has risen to about $12 a pack, which makes the monetary factor more of a motivating force to quit than ever. But the real reason to quit, said Steiner, is freedom.

"The freedom of being present in every conversation, dinner party, event, and lecture, with my clients, family," said Steiner. "Of not being worried about when I’m going to get my next cigarette break. The freedom from missing things because I had to go smoke, and would come back and everyone would be laughing, and I’d ask, ’What did I miss?’ Being able to travel, go to a movie or show, and sit and enjoy it."

Quitting Step by Step
The Center’s three-step process begins with "Not Quite Ready to Quit," a mandatory three-hour intro course in which Steiner has participants look at their individual smoking, the roadblocks to quitting, things that will get in the way of staying quit, decisional balance, and what you are getting out of smoking.

"Most people say they are getting nothing out of smoking," said Steiner. "But it is about bringing it to consciousness and putting it on paper, so when those desires and needs come up, you will know why. In decisional balancing, some people say they smoke to help relax, to focus, to stimulate, but those things didn’t occur to them earlier. Before you know it, people are writing away. The power of the group is without parallel."

After this one-time class, the six-week "Commit to Quit" program commences. This group helps people develop a quit plan, build a support system, and learn ways to deal with relapse pressure.

"I’m the kind of person who needs loving, soft support, someone to say, ’Oh honey, don’t smoke, you hated it, you are feeling so proud of yourself," said Steiner. "But if you’re that kind of person and hear negative feedback, you’re gonna smoke. This program is about teaching people how to get connected with other people that will support them the way they need to be supported, and avoid their triggers-which are often other people."

"For example, if you mother causes you to chain smoke, in the beginning, avoid your mother!" said Steiner. "Just keep the conversations brief, let people know you are quitting smoking, and will be edgy. It is about giving yourself permission to care of yourself, and to not minimize your quitting. It’s a severe addiction, but people are ashamed they can’t stop! But you have to change your shame to self-love and care."

Next: Quitting in a Gay Environment