Travel :: Index
Club Med Cancun :: Off to a rough start, but (apparently) better than before by Jason Salzenstein
EDGE National Style & Travel EditorSunday Aug 5, 2007
This past winter I was elated to be invited to the reopening of Club Med in Cancun, Mexico. I’m only 29(-ish) mind you, so the whole "Club Med swingers thing"-aside from being very heterosexual- was a bit before my time. Yet still, the few things that I’d heard about the resorts had always fascinated me. (Of course part of it was the expectation that I might be able to watch some bad 70’s soft-core late night movie... live and in stereo. Not so much.) What I learned was that while the "new" Club Med is definitely a step up from the swingin’ 70’s version, a great deal, and a good vacation for option for families of any makeup, it’s a far cry from the luxurious, 4-star elegance described in the brochures and promoted by the marketing team.
To be completely fair and give full disclosure, my visit to Club Med Cancun was part of an organized trip for press and travel industry professionals. It was meant (at least I’m assuming) to show-off the newly remodeled resort, which like the rest of Cancun, was largely destroyed by hurricanes two years ago. This "grand re-opening" was also meant to introduce and highlight the newly re-imagined Club Med concept. Unfortunately, no one told us before we arrived that we were coming for a "soft opening"- paying guests wouldn’t arrive for two more weeks. In fact, we didn’t find out that the resort wasn’t operating at 100% until after we got to our rooms, where that fact was blatantly obvious. Within the first few hours most of our air conditioning failed, the power went out (twice), hot water was a dream for some, and a colleague found a two-foot hole in his ceiling. Needless to say, the combination of brazen lack of communication and major systems failure put quite a damper on what we were hoping would be a fabulous and relaxing tropical vacation.
In my quest to find the good in everything- as well as my attempt to bring EDGE readers the information that I know you want (i.e. what you could probably expect during a normal visit to Club Med)- I managed to pull-through this experience using my fabulous gay-vision to see the resort as it was meant to be, and as I’m told it has stepped-up to since we left. So while this is certainly not your average travel feature, rather than completely write-off the resort (and the brand), I thought I’d tell you a bit about my experience, and a bit about the resort as well.
Getting there
If you live on the East Coast, there are plenty of airlines with fast and easy flights into Cancun. I chose Delta for a few reasons: first, I’ve always been fairly happy with their service, second, they support our community. Mainly, however, because- without exception- they simply have the most inclusive, forward-thinking and fabulous carryon policy, which states that each passenger is allowed "one carry-on bag and one MALE OR FEMALE purse!!! (Accent added.) I mean, come on- you ’gotta’ support that.
Having never been to Cancun, I was a little surprised at the madhouse that was the airport. I also felt like I had been dragged back in time a few decades. (Was that Mike Brady leading a tour group of fat Americans?) You know it’s a bad sign when an airport’s PA system is a woman walking around with a bullhorn!
Luckily the airport’s small and easy to navigate, and there are Club Med employees- sorry, "G.O.s"- EV-ER-Y-WHERE, so you’re definitely not going to get lost. We grabbed our luggage, found the CM desk, and were shortly handed a bottle of water and whisked away to the Club Med shuttle, just outside the terminal.
The Resort
Club Med Cancun is located right on the beach, a short drive from the airport. By now most of Cancun has been rebuilt following the devastating hurricanes of a few years ago, and the city is almost back up to full speed. The new Club Med Cancun represents the company’s new philosophy, style and branding. Rather than a single’s club where solo travelers are paired up in rooms and every event, activity and meal is meant to bring people together to mix and mingle, the new Club Med is all about families and fun times. Unfortunately, we didn’t experience a lot of that.
From what we could see of the resort, the activities offered were plentiful, diverse, and interesting. From cultural excursions to local ruins, to biking, hiking and snorkeling, learning how to swing on the trapeze, or just laying on a chaise on the beach or drinking by the pool, it’s pretty much all here. They’ve definitely got something for everyone, and you can do as much or as little as you please- it’s perfect whether you’re active or passive!
Club Med spent a full year and $24 million on the renovation of the Cancun resort, although unfortunately for us we didn’t get to see much of the improvements, largely because they were hidden behind the dirt, systems failures, yet-to-be-landscaped grounds, and executive higher-ups that were in a non-stop parade of self-congratulatory celebration completely unjustified by their surroundings- which apparently they were oblivious to. The things we did get to experience- the pools, beach, bars, trapeze, and mini-excursion- were certainly fun, and all good experiences, and the G.O.s were nothing if not eager (and a bit overzealous). The drawbacks unfortunately overshadowed the positive things, and on a couple occasions all hell broke loose.
Upscale and refined? Not so much...
Speaking for all my travel writer brothers and sisters, I think what was most upsetting was the considerable difference between the way that the resort had been described to us (refined, upscale, luxurious, 4-star), and the reality of Club Med Cancun. Having not experienced Club Med prior to this trip, my knowledge of the "old" resorts is based solely on information from other people, past brochures and marketing materials, and the like. It’s clear from these sources that the new Club Med is definitely a step up from the old, in more than a few ways. The design has been updated, embracing families has replaced the adults-only hookup camp concept, and the brand as a whole has risen a level or two in order to compete with other resorts (both all-inclusive and standard) in Cancun and around the world.
Having said that, the new Club Med is by no means "refined, luxurious, 4-star" or any other adjective normally used to describe a Four Seasons, Ritz Carlton, Fairmont or the like. They may have upgraded their linens, in-room amenities, and interior design concept, but this is still a family resort, and not one on the high-end of the scale. From what I saw and experienced, I would put it just above a Marriott resort, but not quite a Hyatt. A solid 3-stars to be sure, but if you arrived expecting what we were expecting- based on the advertising, marketing materials, etc.- you would definitely be disappointed.
Photo courtesy of www.JohnnyJet.com
The Rooms
As part of the remodel, the interiors of all rooms received makeovers and more than half of them were expanded. And while there were certainly some very nice rooms and suites, as with most resorts, the best ones were on the expensive side, some- in my opinion- considerably so. The standard rooms were just that: standard. The design was interesting- a blend of local flavor and modern contemporary- and the bathroom spacious enough, and all rooms come with a coffee maker, desk, mini-fridge, etc... i.e. what you would expect for any hotel that doesn’t have a number in its name. I didn’t spend much time in my room (no one did), not because I didn’t want to, but because with no internet access and AC that only brought the room to a warm 95 degrees (on full blast), I didn’t have much choice. (Disclosure: Months after we returned home and after constant pestering for information we were told that a few of the AC systems "were not operating at full capacity" and that the reason that regular rooms don’t have internet is to encourage people to enjoy the activities and their vacation.
If you go, I strongly suggest you book a Jade room or suite. This concept- part of the new Club Med- provides an extra level of service, along with better décor, larger rooms, etc. that- especially as a gay traveler- seems like the only civilized way to do the resort. Set in their own "concierge building" (the Jade Villa), booking a Jade room will give you access to room service, internet, ocean views, fresh flowers, bathrobes, a stocked mini-fridge, etc.
The Food
Most people that come to Club Med Cancun will probably consider the food excellent, if not fantastic. Unfortunately, although Club Med is a giant, major resort, they apparently haven’t heard of vegetarians (or more likely, being French, they just consider us freaks and choose to ignore us). I was still surprised that given that they bill themselves as having "something for every taste," I found myself largely eating the same thing for four days; salad, a few overcooked vegetables and plain, bland pasta.
Meat and seafood eaters will fare much better. The resort sports three restaurants, each with its own style and feel. Las Cazuelas offers à la carte Mexican cuisine with a French touch, La Pergola features all-day dining with largely grilled cuisine during the day and tapas at night, and La Hacienda- the main restaurant- is, well, a large buffet.
Broken down into a few large dining areas, La Hacienda is meant to invoke the feeling of being in an old colonial home. In reality, it’s more of an upscale cafeteria, albeit with cloth napkins. We found the service literally impossible- after waiting more than half an hour for water we took matters into our own hands and began serving ourselves soft drinks, tea, etc. from the busser’s stations. We prayed for some of the seemingly 5,000 G.O.s to come help us, but apparently the trade-off for having so many of them hanging around as "buddies" is to reduce the restaurant support staff to two people working four very large rooms each seating at least a hundred people. Not a good equation...
Seafood fans will have an instant food orgasm on "seafood night," when the crustaceans, bottom-feeders, and fish of all shapes, sizes and colors are piled high like you can only do in Mexico. People went wild, cracking shells, slurping shrimp, and grossing out anyone who doesn’t partake of creatures of the sea... or anyone with decorum or table manners. Maybe it’s just journalists, but when the crowd saw the seafood, all sense of humanity was lost and it was a feeding free-for-all.
Me, I stuck largely to the bar. Being that (most, standard brand) alcohol is free and I couldn’t find much in the way of real food that wasn’t animal-based, I figured I might as well take advantage of the situation, channel Karen Walker, and do the 4-day liquid diet. (Vegetarians beware: The beans, rice, most pasta dishes, and even the "Cheese Quesadillas" all had meat-based ingredients in them. Trying to custom order something was next to impossible. My advice? Stay in the Jade Villa- for the room service- or bring a few Powerbars... you’ll want them.)
Photo courtesy of www.JohnnyJet.com
Activities
Although I’ve already touched on the plethora of activities offered at the resort, I figure that since I’ve not spared much in the way of pointing out the negatives, I want to make sure to give Club Med credit in the areas where they excelled, namely the activities. Whether you’re looking for an active vacation or one spent relaxing while sipping cocktails by the pool, you’ll definitely be satisfied in this department. With Myriad activities, most of them outdoors, you’ll never be bored if that’s your wish. Club Med Cancun is famous for their daily excursions (all individually priced in addition to your package) to interesting nearby places, including the biosphere (Sian Ka’an- the largest marine natural protected area in Mexico and a UN World Heritage site), archaeological sites in Coba and Tulum, and sailing trips to Isla Mujeres- something I highly recommend. Aside from these "bigger" trips, they also offer daily activities and group lessons for everything from water skiing to wakeboarding to windsurfing, flying trapeze, tennis, and snorkeling the nearby coral reefs.
If you’re traveling with kids of any age, don’t worry. This is the other area where Club Med excels. For parents with babies, the Baby Welcome Program sets you up with a bottle warmer, high chair and other necessary "accessories," which will be waiting in your room when you arrive. They also offer babysitting in the room- the easiest way to escape and enjoy the activities. For kids 4-10, the Kids Club and Mini Club Med offers parents childcare and young’uns a chance to indulge in age-appropriate activities that both entertain and educate. Junior Club Med gives teens and tweens (11-17) their own (separate) places to hang out, with as much or as little activity as they’d like. They’re free to watch movies or take part in group activities, that for the most part, mirror those available to their parents.
Off-site activities in Cancun include the classic Mexican vacation favorites like parasailing, hair braiding, etc. and gay boys will be happy to hear that there’s a decent mall in town, although it doesn’t have anything to write home about, save for the couple pharmacies where one can pick up pharmaceuticals (that "d-word" is so harsh, don’t you think?) either not available or available by Rx-only in the states. Just make sure you do the math correctly when you convert pesos to dollars... I know someone who paid a LOT more for alium than originally thought- more than it runs back home. For some of you queens however, this alone may justify a trip to Club Med...
Q Factor
Club Med, Cancun, and Club Med Cancun are not exactly "gay destinations" per se, so if you’re looking for bustling gay nightlife you’ll definitely want to keep looking. There are gay bars in Cancun (Karamba being the most popular, but Google "gay bars Cancun" for others), but it’s certainly not a big draw for our people- at least outside of big party weekends.
"Nightlife" at the resort is a bit of a throwback to older times- the Club Med of the past. What was a lounge during the day transforms to a "dance club" after the sun goes down and as the liquor flows the conversation gets a bit more loose and the hips start shakin’. Gay boys will certainly find fans, although perhaps not in the people they’d ultimately prefer to attract... you know how it is when married women get a few drinks in them, lose the kids, and want to tell us how fabulous we are while asking for advice on their hair, clothes, husbands... At this point, all bets are off.
Basically, Club Med is geared towards families with kids- gay or straight- and not singles or groups looking for a wild time (although I’d pay good money to see a big group of LGBT vacationers "take over" a resort for a week...).
I can’t say that my memories of Club Med Cancun are great, but they aren’t all bad either. I can definitely see the draw for families, being that once you’re there you can pretty much "dump" the kids in their own camps and do whatever it is you please, knowing that they’re not only well-taken-care-of, but also having a great time.
After figuring in food and drink costs, when you compare Club Med to a traditional upper-middle-level resort, the price is good as well. Add-in childcare and there’s really no comparison: Club Med wins. Hopefully by now the facilities have been finished and fixed and the company has gotten their s**t together and stopped trying to sell themselves as more than they are. If so, I can see them growing and thriving. If not, they’re destined to go the way of the dinosaur.
Or should I say the way of swinging 70’s singles clubs...
Rates for a 7-night all-inclusive stay at Club Med Cancun start at $1190 in the low season and $1350 in high season, for a standard room. Rates for the Jade Villa (recommended) start around $1400 for a standard room and $1785 for a suite. For more information, ww.ClubMed.com
Twitter :: JasonSalz
Jason Salzenstein is a Senior Editor for EDGE Publications, overseeing Lifestyle and Travel. He is a design, image, and marketing consultant, a professional shopper, and a contributor for national and international publications. For more information, go to www.JasonSalzenstein.com You can also send questions, comments, and concerns to jsalzenstein@EDGEPublications.com
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