February 1, 2012
Hedda Dishes Drag Race :: Meet the talent
Hedda Lettuce READ TIME: 3 MIN.
The premiere episode of RuPaul's Drag Race is airing this week on LOGO. The theme was the apocalypse and the girl's challenge was to create an apocalyptic dress to dazzle the panel of judges. Which included the forever-gorgeous Elvira. During the show I wished the apocalypse had hit the earth, sparing me from the tragedy that lay before my very eyes.
The show is basically "Project Runway" meets "America's Top Model." Nothing unique at all, except for the fact that drag queens star in the program. Trying desperately to have substance, they had some sad tales of drag queens going to prison, DWI's and telling their mothers about there secret life wearing woman's panties for a living. Honestly, what self-respecting drag queen has not gone to prison and had at least two DWI's???
The only thing that saved the show from utter despair was Jiggly Caliente. She is funny, humble, great to look at, and wants the title of Americas Top Drag Queen more than a crack whore wants crack.
Having landed in the bottom two, along with Alisa Summers, whose only talent was looking remotely attractive with a fake breastplate, they had to lip-synch for their life to Britney Spears' "Toxic."
Jiggly had stellar dance moves, high energy and did a split. When that fat bitch hit the floor I thought the stage was going to collapse.
Alisa Summers walked around the stage like she was a pilled up zombie (with huge tits) searching for her misplaced car keys. Alisa was chopped and Jiggly was allowed to go on for another day. Warning - don't go on the road anytime soon, because Alisa is sure to tie one on. DWI #2 Alisa?
Who was this week's winner? The thieving Sharon Needles, dressed as a mummy, spewing blood from her mouth as she strutted the catwalk. She wants to be hated so badly, that dark outsider.
Sharon depicts herself as the edgy rebel who is better than the other bitches on the show because she is so "'unique."
We all know what will happen to this sad, delusional meth addict. She will soon be on the cutting board and go on to host after hour events in Pennsylvania where she thankfully resides. Or perhaps she will start her own cult?
Who do I suspect will take the coveted crown? Sadly I don't believe it will be NYC's very own Milan. She is too good already and frankly not enough of a tragedy. Did you see her fierce runway walk? Chad Michaels? Nope. Once again she is too polished and frankly a tad too old. I can say this, because I am also a tad too old.
Will it be that little Puerto Rican, Kenya Michaels, who looks like a drag chupacabra. Nope. Could Jiggly take the crown? My votes, for now, go to her.
Stay fresh,
x
Hedda Lettuce
Watch Hedda Lettuce's commentary on the contestants on Season 4 of RuPaul's Drag Race:
Hedda Lettuce is NYC premier Drag Comic. Hedda has appeared with the likes of Sarah Jessica Parker, Tyra Banks, Vanessa Williams and Madonna on such television shows as Project Runway, Sex and the City, The Tyra Banks Show, the MTV Movie Awards and Ugly Betty. Hedda is one of the stars of The Sundance Channel's new reality show-Garo Unleased and was on LOGO's DRAGTASTIC! Hedda's film appearances include: The Look (Carol Alt), Too Wong Foo, GO GO CRAZY from the producers of The Big Gay Musical, Violet Tendencies and Musical Chairs. She has been in numerous Off-Broadway shows and her annual holiday show-Lettuce Rejoice-has been a sold out event for the past ten years. Miss Lettuce has also had the pleasure of working with many high-profile charity events. For the past ten years, Hedda has been hosting a classic movie night, at the Clearview Chelsea Cinemas. This past June, Miss Lettuce celebrated her 11th anniversary hosting classic films at the legendary Ziegfeld Theater.
