Columnists :: Talk It Out

Writing a Book on Gay Shame is No Easy Task

By Vince Pellegrino | Oct 21

My book, "Talk it OUT: No More Gay Shame" is finally completed and published on Amazon Kindle, soon to be published on paperback as well but, this process took more than fifteen years to complete!


Dr. Vince Pellegrino has PhDs in educational theater and drama therapy from New York University and is a board-certified psychotherapist in New York City and Connecticut. He teaches communications at Hofstra University. He is currently working on a book, Gay Communication Game, about "Gayspeak"; an interactive TV program featuring real-time therapy sessions is in development.

Other Recent Columns

'Mirror, Mirror on the Wall' - Gay Men and Body Image

By Vince Pellegrino | Aug 28
Having just spent a wonderful day at the beach and seeing a good deal of sexy men, one cannot help but take one hard long look at oneself for flaws as well as attributes that confirm that you still "got it going on!"

Gay Men and the Opposite Sex

By Vince Pellegrino | Jul 15
Working at present with a staff of mostly women, I have heard several remarks from them to me, that can be viewed as both provocative and insensitive with regards to my sexuality and masculinity.

Reliving the AIDS Crisis in HBO’s "The Normal Heart"

By Vince Pellegrino | Jun 10
Dr. Vince on HBO pictures "The Normal Heart"

The Slow Death of Chelsea

By Vince Pellegrino | Apr 23
I cannot believe it! First, we lose Food Bar to Chipolte, and Big Cup becomes a nail salon. David BaNow, Rainbows and Triangles is empty and devoid of life! Where am I going to get my cards with all the sexy pics; Rite Aid, Duane Reade, or the Internet?

The Black Party

By Vince Pellegrino | Mar 24
It is amazing how one venue can hold so many hot men in one place dancing, playing, and having an all around great time. If we could harness all the heat and energy that is being expelled during the Black Party, you could easily power the city for a week!

Up All Night to Get Lucky? - Sexy or Obsessive?

By Vince Pellegrino | Feb 18
With today’s technology, most everyone is cruising on the internet on Manhunt or Grindr, among a varied choice of other sites toward getting lucky; choosing their computer rather than the bar to reach their personal goal.

The Gay Communication Game and Social Etiquette

By Vince Pellegrino | Jan 8
With regards to the above title; like tequila and coke, the two generally don’t mix well! The same holds true for combining this "gay communication game" with social etiquette, the combination of the two can create a very incompatible duo.

What Would You Do When a ’10’ Walks in the Room?

By Vince Pellegrino | Nov 13
Last night at the David Barton Gym in Chelsea, an infamous place for having very attractive gay men, I was in the locker room putting on my coat when a "10" walked into the room.

Why Bother? Gay Elitism or Fear of Intimacy

By Vince Pellegrino | Oct 1
Having just completed all my interviews for my upcoming book: "Talk it OUT: No More Gay Shame," one of my last interviewees, Brendan, made what I considered to be of the most significant statements with regard to gay male communication or lack thereof.

The ’Sweet Genius’ Talks It Out!

By Vince Pellegrino | Jul 30
A meeting with "Sweet Genius" Ron Ben-Israel leads to an interview in which the chef opens up about his early life and his views on what it means to be out and open.

Gay Shame in Decline with Gay Pride

By Vince Pellegrino | Jul 14
Congratulations to all my fellow gays for the defeat of DOMA and for having a president that believes in us with equal rights for all.

Living in a Violent Society

By Vince Pellegrino | May 31
Escalating violence against gays is terrifying, but is the option of arming ourselves against would-be bashers a comfort -- or an escalation?

Top Or Bottom? These Terms Carry Meaning Out of the Bedroom

By Vince Pellegrino | Apr 21
Many bottoms have a stigma about being considered effeminate and other stereotypes. Such fears may hide a wider self-internalized homophobia.

Don’t De-Emphasize De-Stressing!

By Vince Pellegrino | Mar 23
In today’s stressed-out world, we all need to find pursuits that give us downtime and take us away from our routine.

Value - And Work to Keep - Your Closest Friendships

By Vince Pellegrino | Feb 25
Per Bette Midler, you gotta have friends. It takes work & sometimes they’re a pain. But it’s important to have them there by your side when you need them.

After 60, Men Need to Accept the New Realities of Dating

By Vince Pellegrino | Jan 28
Rejection isn’t easy. It’s harder when you’re in late middle age. Does that mean giving up? No, but it means accepting realistic expectations about Mr. Right.